So positive

I am feeling so positive i have seen great strides in how well i have been dealing with this. I am now so postive when people bring up babies and things. It doesn't make me upset anymore or make me feel jealous. I know my time is coming sooner than later, I know when lord feels i am ready he will send me and my husband a baby. I feel that its sooner than we are even thinking. But I am talking great strides and becoming more and more paitent with each passing day. I know that i am going be blessed greatly in the days to come and i know that my life is improving every day and each day makes it easier and easier to handle everything going on in my life. I have also decided to go back to school and become a dietician so that i can help people and teach them how to improve their lives and share my experience with them to help them learn and grow from there problems and trials in life. Going back to school will give me the opprotunity to get out of the stressful work enviorment that i am in and this will greatly improve mt chances of being able to get pregant easier and be less stressed and be the best wife i can be till we a baby then i can be the best wife and mother i can be.

Feeling Happier and Healthier

Its been about three months since i lasted posted but thats because, i have been trying to not dwell on this anymore. I feel great i am so much happier and so much healthier. Since i have been on this diet i have lost about thirty pounds and just eating healthy is helping my body get back to normal. Since we went on our vacation in August i have been happier and had a brighter out look on life. I still have my struggling days where i get upset if people say certain things certain ways it can upset me because. This issue is a little close to my heart still. This may always be an issue but i work my way through it with my husband by my side. I had some cool little things happen to me but i feel that they are sacred to me so i don't want to share them with you all but just know they were awesome and gave me even more hope and positivity.

Hope

Dealing with poly cycstic ovaries has helped me in more than one way. It has taught me that being paitent and waiting for god to send me a baby is my trial. Its tough for me some days to sit and watch other women being pregant and i yearn for that so badly but i know that my time will come. But for now i will be the best aunt that i can be and enjoy all the time with my husband and work on making our realtionship even stronger than it already is. I have also saw that there are so many more difficult problems that women can deal with such as, having a stillborn baby, losing their husband and being a young widow. Also i would like to share a story with you that helps me to have the hope that i will have a baby. When i was first learning about this syndorme everybody kept telling me stories of how their sister or siter-in-law had this, and every story concluded with oh after three to four months they were pregant and the doctor said they never would or that it would take them a while to concive. I kept asking myself is this a sign are these people trying to tell me something. And then one night i had a dream about my children and i knew that i would have children and that i would be pregnant by the end of the year. But that dream gave me hope and i know that it was trying to telling me something. But just a note to all the ladies out there that have this and are reading this, whatever is holding you back if its fear or whatever then dont't let it hold you back break through the wall and be patient and hope for the better and the better will come to you everything will fall into place when the time is right for you.

Insight

As i have been dealing with this in my own way, I have come to realize that finding out that I have poly cystic ovaries, at this time. Has made me be grateful that they found out that i had PCOS becasue it has prevented me from getting Diabetes, heart disease and other more serious conditions. I feel healthier and the best i have felt in years. I also found out that if this goes untreated then it can cause high risk pregencies and can cause you to miscarry too. Its still hard for me from day to day. But having my wonderful family and husband to support me and talk me through the rouhg days helps. Its still a struggle for me to watch other women becoming pregnant and experiencing what i want so badly to experience. But I know that i will be able to experience pregnacy and having children sooner than later. SO my goal is to be the greatest aunt to my nephews. Also to be able to get to know my husband even better. I would hate to have to go through this alone becasue it would be so much harder. Becasue there would be no one to talk to about what i am going through. I also want all you women out there to get checked for things if you suspect something is wrong. Becasue you don't want it to go unnoticed until its to late. For example, when i was waiting to hear about my test results i was really afraid they were gonna tell me to that i had something cancer or something much worse then what i was diagnosed with. I still struggle with fears like not being able to get pregnant and having my husband leave me becasue of that, but he tells me all the time that no matter what he will be by my side holding my hand through everything which makes the fears go away for a time.

How I found out I had Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome

This is how my story begins and how I came to find out that I have poly cystic ovaries. I want to be able to help other women deal with this and help them to know that they are not the only ones that are dealing with this syndrome. I married my very wonderfully loving and supportive husband on March 21st 2009. We had been married about three months when i got pregnant and then miscarried that same month. I was on birth control at the time so I thought that it was the birth control that made me miscarry. My heart was broken and I was depressed, I was so hurt that nobody knew how I felt and so I turned my mind around right then and decided that I wasn't going to let this get the best of me. We then moved closer to both of our families a few months later. As we were living in a big house with some friends, they found out that they were pregant which made me a little jelaous but more hurt then that. Because i wanted kids so bad but i couldn't seem to get pregnant. By this time we had been married for about 8 months. My heart was breaking and so I talked to an in-law. The in-law that I talked to did not understand what i was going through becasue they were always able to get pregnant right away. They said that the pregnancy about four months earlier was all in my head. This blew me away that they could be so heart less at how i was feeling and how i was struggling with this. We then decided that we needed to move once again becasue being with our friends was making our marriage fall apart. Soon after we got into our new place, i started feeling like i was pregnant again. So we took test after test and again it seemed as if i miscarried. I finally decided that my heart couldn't take all this so i just wanted to stop trying. It was hard for me to not be jelaous as thers got pregnant and i couldn't. I struggled almost everyday with it and i began to get depressed. Finally i sat down with my husband and i told him how i was feeling. He told me that he would support me and that we would have our own children one day soon. After about a year in our new place we decided that we would start trying again. This brings us to January of 2011. In the first part of January i began to get really sick. At frist i was like oh its just the flu and then i got better so i didn't think anything of it. In late march I started to get sick again and this time i was late. So we took a test and it came out negative. I tried not to think about it but i made be a little depressed. We then went on vacation in early April and i didn't think about until we came home and i got sicker and sicker. Finally my family said that i had better go to the doctor to find out what was wrong. I was scared and anxious becasue i wanted a positive answer but i also didn't want to be disappointed. The doctor then took a test and it said it was negative. This tore at my heart becasue i wanted so badly to know that i was gonna have a baby. The doctor then took a bunch of tests to narrow down the problem. After two more doctor visits of test, the doctor said ok lets take a pelvic ultrasound becasue we are running out of tests and problems that could be worng with you. Later that day i went and got an ultrasound. I waited anxiously to hear what they had to say. Finally that Friday the doctor called with news. It wasn't terrible but it wasn't good either. He told me that i had poly cystic ovaries and that this was caused by to much insulin in my body, he also told me it was treatable. He scheduled me for a an insluin test the following Monday. Later that day i told my mother and i broke down in tears but at frist i didn't know excatly what i was facing and what my treatment would be. I was afraid that i would never be able to have children and just all those kinds of thoughts were running through my head. I was afraid that my husband would not want to be married to me anymore and that was one of my biggest fears that weekend. I was kinda depressed and kinda worried about how Monday was gonna go. This was also mothers day weeken, so for me this was a very hard day. We then went in on MOnday and they took the test and they told me that the results would be ready in a couple of days and the doctor explained to me that my cystics were folical size and that as soon as that got it under control that i would be able to have children. This helped me calm down a little. Then a couple days later they put me on metphormine to help keep my insluin levels low so that they would go away. I am also on a low glycemic index diet to help keep these levels low also. Its a long story but thats how i came to find out that i had poly cystic ovaries