My battle is on going....

You know the interesting thing is so many people don't know what people with infertility problems deal with on a daily basis. As I have stated before we are in the process of trying for more children. Its hard having to deal with all the side effects of everything with the pills and hormones. I forgot how much work it is to stay strong and have faith that it will work. Its been a rough couple of months dealing with the first round of fertility drugs having our hopes brought to its highest and then dropped super low. Its a fight everyday but I also have my little miracle to look at and know that he was all possible because of faith, prayers, and blessings and that really understands the emotions that this process can give you one day you feel great and the next you could feel depressed. Its amazing to me think that miracles really are possible and I know they can happen time and time again. I have hope that me and my family will be able to experience more and more miracles. Everyday I struggle with the pain of having P.C.O.S its not just physically but mentally as well. Some days I can feel great and others I can just want to lay in bed all day. I also suffer from chronic headaches sometimes almost everyday and sometimes I can go a couple of weeks without them. Trying to be a mom of a toddler and taking care of the house and being a student is really tiring but I make it work especially with the help of my wonderful husband. But I guess what I am trying to say is don't look at someone and judge them because, you don't know what battle they are fighting and what they might be going through that day. And to all you ladies out there dealing with infertility hang in there miracles happen everyday and have one little boy who is my little miracle and even though he may drive me crazy some days he is so special to me and I always look at him with joy in my heart knowing that he is living proof. SO ladies hang in there and something special will happen to you soon, deal with all side effects and emotions with as much grace as you can or just fake it till you make it either way be happy with your life and great blessings will come.

Heartaches and Happinesses

Recently I have been reading and hearing lots of things about miscarriages the thing is so many women experience them but suffer in silence, a miscarriage is nothing to be looked down upon about 10-20% of women experience them if the pregnancy is know but the percentage can be much higher because many pregnancies in a woman's body abort them selves before it is even know by the woman. Its so crazy to think about the stats. I know personally that a miscarriage can leave you with fear and uncertainty and a heartache. But we always have to look at the joy and happiness in our lives. Find something to look forward to and to have faith in that you had a miscarriage because the baby could have had serious problems and could have ended up being still born. What I am trying to say is a miscarriage is the way for the lord to say they aren't ready yet. I know personally that any fertility struggle is so difficult to find the happiness in but we do and we become better for it. SO to all you ladies out there who struggled with this recently or in the past hang in there you will find your happiness again. One day you will laugh again and know that everything worked out for the best, so ladies find that happiness it may be hard and you may have to fake it till you make it but your happiness is waiting for you. Personally having dealt with a miscarriage in the past myself I can say its hard and painful in more ways than one but happiness is around the corner. In other news I am hopeful that my medicines are working and I will be going in for a checkup the beginning part of November to see what the next step is. Also I am super busy with school but as I take my classes the more I realize that my degree in health science is my calling and want to shout my story to the world and back and one day it would be my dream to be on the Ellen DeGeneres show and share my story with so many to show that no matter what they are going through there is hope. Anyway Karson is growing bigger and bigger each day always finding something to get into trouble or to get into but I wouldn't trade it for the world he is my miracle baby and will always be no matter how old he gets.

On the next Journey...

We are on our next journey for our next children. We started with treatments and pills to see try and have more kids. My doctor was very hopeful that my body will remember and do some of its work on its on. He told me that I have about 10 years left and then were done. Its kind of crazy to think that we only have so much time, I am trying to be hopeful. But when there are negative people or negative things being said it makes you worry and to not trust in the Lord and to lose hope a bit. But I always have to remember and look at my miracle Karson that anything is possible in the Lord's eyes. Also remembering the story of the two farmers that were praying for rain the one that was preparing his fields and the other that was not. The one who prayed and prepared got the rain and the other who just prayed did not receive the blessing of the rain. I have to remember to do my part so that I can et those blessings and to have the faith. I am so thankful for the support of my wonderful husband, son, parents, and siblings that are there supporting me. The past few days have been emotional for me due to medications and school work being difficult and frustrating and just as I am writing this my sweet husband brought me a beautiful red rose. So that is what is going and so keeping our fingers crossed and prayers are fervent that things will work. That's all for now I will keep you all updated as our journey continues

Update

Sorry its taken so long for me to update. The verdict is my poly cystic ovarian syndrome was creating flase pregnancy symptoms the doctor is trying preserve my fertility as long as possible but I only have so many good years left before it gets even tougher to get pregnant than it already is. But we will be trying again soon to go through the process and trying to get some more children into this world. Hoping that when I do get pregnant again then I wont be so sick because I bet a lot of my sickness was due to my gallbladder but since I have had it removed it has helped a lot. Anyone thats all for tonight I will keep you all updated

My battle continues

I have always known that I will have to deal with my pcos for the rest of my life but I thought it was under control. We are really not sure exactly what is going on all I know is i have been sick and had some pain. Its frustrating and upsetting. I have a doctors appointment on Monday for a follow up because yesterday I had some blood work done. So I will keep it updated after Monday

Having faith in ourselves

The interesting thing thsi week is that we are working on something we tend to doubt ourselves. I had a great experience the other day while getting my hair cut I got to share my story with the lady cutting my hair. It made me think about several experiences I had when I started on my diet and started losing the weight. I know that its hard to imagine losing weight when you see no results. But we have to keep going and trying so that it may be discouraging at times but the harder we work the better results so never give keep the faith in yourselves you cithangit hang in there there are many of us to support you