Hard days

The last few days have been hard on me emotionally. Everyday I see people who are pregnant or just had a baby. I long for that again, I long for karson to have siblings, I long for that feeling of movement that no else can experience like you can. It's an interesting feeling to feel like that again in over four years. I long for these things and even though my health is a lot better than it was a month two months ago I always have that little doubt, wondering if karson will ever be able to have any siblings, if I will get to experience being pregnant again, will I ever get to experience the miracle of birth again? These questions have been running through my mind lately. No matter what anyone says to me like your so young, have faith it will all work out, don't worry about it it will just happen. But for me this is something that won't just happen it will be another miracle like my Christmas come true about 4 1/2 years ago. Those days are stuck in my memory and I feel like I am back there again. But this time I know I am stronger I know I have the faith, I know that my family will be there for me. I know I have the wildest craziest little blessing and I will be blessed again but it takes time and patience. Sorry for the little pity party today, it's just how I have been feeling lately and I am sure everyone with infertility problems suffers from these fleeting thoughts. Anyway on to happier things we have moved into a new place and are settling in. The surgery and my diet are helping along with exercise. The meds they put me on last month worked to help me ovulate so we are now on round two hoping and praying they work and make something happen hopefully.